A relationship outside the church

Hi!

Thanks for your question. Since we don’t know how old you are or which type of church you and the boy go to, and we don’t have so many details about what you really want advice about, we will try to give you an answer which you might find a bit too general, but which we hope you will still find helpful. In addition, you can read some of the other articles which we give the link to below.

It’s not so often that we hear that someone can’t be in a relationship with another Christian who comes from a different denomination. It sounds very peculiar if this is a rule in a Christian denomination. However, if the parents of this boy have made the rules, then it is a bit different. Parents have parental responsibility for their children until they are 18 years old, you can read more about this here:

Parental Responsibility

On the other hand, a church has no right to put rules in place which override the parent’s authority, but of course the church can teach about what the Bible says about man, woman and marriage.

We also know that in some places there are churches which have very strict rules for their members, as they want to decide things and control a lot of what happens in the church, through having a strong leadership. In that case it is not a normal Christian church, but a so-called ‘sect’. By this we mean a church which often has one or more leaders who exercise authority over the members in a way that removes their right to decide over their own lives.    In that case it is a church which does not practise what the Bible teaches.

But let’s get back to being in love. It isn’t always so easy to decide who you will fall in love with, as these feelings can come and go a lot. Most Christians, who have married another Christian, have very often quite different church backgrounds, this is true at least for the younger generation.
 

Getting a boyfriend (or girlfriend if you’re a guy) is a very important decision which you should think through very carefully. We say that since it is one of the most important decisions we will make, since it will perhaps lead to a long life together with the other person. We do not recommend that a young person under 18 should do this without talking to their parents about what is happening. If you are in love, and want to start a relationship with someone, it can be wise to be open about it in your close family. Almost all parents want you to do well and to have a good relationship with your partner. 

When you are in love you can often be blind to the weaker sides of the person you are in love with, especially when you are young and a bit inexperienced in this area. In this case it can be good if one or both of your parents also know about what’s happening and hopefully share some good advice with you if they see that this is necessary.

We hope that you will find some of this helpful. We’re including some links to other articles and questions about getting a boyfriend or girlfriend, on our website. There is a lot of good content there and lots of good tips to help you in the future.

Is it wrong to date?
8 tips for choosing a partner

Best wishes, boyandgirl.info